It’s Friday, within a week the floor space of my bedroom has disappeared under my clothes. First I had to move 2 plastic boxes (35l & 45l) from elsewhere into the room, filled with previously pruned clothes that don’t feel like myself. I bought them for my fantasy self, a kind of dream life.
Or maybe some were such panic purchases as the start of the no buy year approached. Help! Do I have everything now? Do I have enough clothes now?
What is the dream life I shop for?
Carefree, always looking good, knowing how to do at least five different hairstyles and not all of them being ponytails. In my carefree life I would own a BMV hybrid SUV, have almost 100 000€ in my investment bumper, 50 000€ lying in my savings account. I wouldn’t have to wonder all the time how much money I have in my account when I’m at the grocery store.
Our family would not have to worry about money all the time and we could focus on our studies and side jobs without the constant stress. Maybe we would be a bit more relaxed.
The essential things in your wardrobe
At the beginning of each season in glossy magazines or virtual newspapers we see this headline. Instead of feeling the pleasure of seeing the pictures of the most important stories of the season placed in the article, we start to feel insecure.
In my closet, I don’t have seasonal trench coats, long wool coats, autumn berets, summer floral dresses or anything else. I have products in my closet that reflect who I am.
I look with interest at the trends in the magazines, soon they become ingrained in my subconscious, so much so that I start to suspect that my life will be less complete if I don’t have those seasonal trends.
You have a biological need to belong to a community, the primitive idea was that if you don’t belong to a community, you are vulnerable.
Consuming and owning things brings people together. As you have probably noticed, there are different communities like perfume collectors, luxury bag owners, trend setters etc.
Only the journey matters
Motherhood changed my body and with it my wardrobe, and now that I’m looking for an internship in the field I studied, I’ve started to question my clothes and what I dare to wear to see clients. For almost a year now, I’ve been wearing the same baggy leggings that I originally bought for my big pregnancy belly.
So I’ve indulged in shopping again this year. At first I thought I’d be fine if I got two pairs of Lululemon’s new Align leggings, but my size never seemed to come on sale (US 10 or 12) in the colours I wanted: black, navy, khaki.
So, I headed out to buy some jeans after a long time. I bought four, three for my fantasy model and one that felt really good, like second skin. But even those weren’t decent enough for a work experience.
I scoured the flea markets, where I managed to find some decent looking shirts that could be worn in different ways: at home or at work. But I couldn’t find trousers, so I ordered them online.
At the same time, I booked myself a two-week sales period at a flea market that opened in a shopping centre. There I will sell all my surplus, fantasy me products.
So what have I learned this March?
Understand what you really need and what you really want. I may still have things in my wardrobe that I think I need but don’t. Your wardrobe has many roles: for me, there are maternity clothes, everyday clothes, work clothes, workout clothes and seasonal clothes.
The more clothes I have in my life, the less I feel I have something to wear. The more options, the harder it seems to be to combine them.
I move things from one corner to another. My clothes spread like a plague from room to room, taking over hangers, floor space, closet and all the empty spaces. I try to fight it but at the same time I always somehow end up with something new to replace it.
Old habits stick with us more than we’d like. Change feels too laborious, too exhausting. The problem is that we want to snap our fingers and make a change that will actually take a couple of years to fix. Whether it’s a gambling addiction, a shopping addiction or a drug addiction. But it’s about losing control and regaining it.
Many people who embark on the No Buy Challenge often do so because they simply feel lost in their lives. Edit your life – that is the purpose of No Buy.
I’m trying to start taking outfit photos, for myself it’s almost the most fun, to watch what outfits people come up with, but I can warn you that my own style is boring.
